And I've never really gotten an honest opinion about it from any of the health care professionals I went to - they're not supposed to tell you you're crazy anyway. I'm sorry, it bothers me, and I think I actually want to be crazy, which isn't so much genuinely mentally ill as just neurotic, but I'm babbling to avoid my second confession, which is
2. I wrecked my car, and I'm terrified to get it fixed again. Don't tell me that people who know nothing about cars go to body shops all the time because I know this. I just ... I can't handle these situations. It's all new and different and embarrassing.
I am aware that cars do not regenerate if you leave them in the garage long enough, unlike the shuttles on Voyager.
3. I just suck. I do. My way of dealing with things is horrible. I'm disorganized and dirty and gross and absent-minded and when I get stressed out I just withdraw into myself and blank out the world and forget things and I can't
4. Also, I think I may have to look for a second job. I don't think I'm gonna be laid off or fired, but they sometimes don't get me any hours, I'm not sure why ... but whatever. Anyway, I have extra time and I need the money, so ... a second job, maybe.
5. Also also when I'm stressed I tend to get blitzed on coffee which does violence to my digestive tract and makes me manic and does nothing to calm me down. I've had stomach cramps for like a week now and no, it doesn't make me feel better. If I keep this up I'll go into the phase where I stay up for days because sleep is for the weak and then crash because I am seriously stupid that way
6. Okay enough hyperventilating I'm gonna go buy some avocadoes and then find a body shop or something