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How often do you find yourself in a situation where a hair eyepatch is the best solution?

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Nov. 6th, 2011 | 01:20 pm

I'm at work and my eye started to really hurt and when I investigated I found my contact lens is ripped. Just a little! It was irritating my eye, but I could still see. I tried really hard not to rub my eye anymore but a few hours later it totally ripped in half and then I was in trouble b/c I don't have any backups.

(Which is a story in itself. I asked my mom to get me my glasses prescription so I could buy some back-up eyeglasses [my last eye doctor was in Tennessee, where my mom lives, and I'm in Nevada] but she's too busy or something to get on it. And I don't carry my glasses or back-up contacts with me because they're expensive and also I don't want to leave them in the car accidentally. The heat will ruin them.)

So I'm fucked, as I explained to my supervisor. My vision without correction is like 20/600 or something. Also my contacts make me slightly farsighted I think, so I was farsighted in one eye, nearsighted in the other, and when things got within an arms-length of me, my eyes refused to focus at all. I suddenly knew how my friend Megatron feels, because that's her vision all the time and she doesn't like it when people get close to her. I also couldn't read.

Here's the thing: I love the way my brain works, but sometimes being given to flights of fancy is problem. Because I tend to overlook practical solutions. The only solution to my problem that came to mind was for me to put on an eyepatch. I called my BF to see if he could bring me my glasses or pick me up or something but he didn't answer and I assumed he was asleep given that it was 3:30 a.m.

I decided the best course of action was to just drive home. I didn't want to leave early because I don't think I'll get paid for that shift at all, but besides the fact that I wouldn't be able to focus on what my hands were doing, I would develop a major fucking eyestrain headache in a few hours. I combed my hair in front of my nearsighted eye. Laugh all you want, it worked. It's really weird driving with no depth perception though. Is that even legal? I have no idea. It helped that the roads were almost totally empty.

When I got home, I saw the light under my BF's bedroom door. I tapped on the door but I got no answer. I knocked, but nothing happened. I took my contact out, put on my glasses, opened his bedroom door. He was playing a video game on his computer, some kind of shoot-em-up game. I watched him for a few minutes - the back of his bald head, his helix piercing - and had a weird out-of-body moment where I wasn't even sure it was him. Even though it was obviously him.

I said, "Andrew." Boy, did he jump.

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Comments {5}

asakiyume

(no subject)

from: asakiyume
date: Nov. 6th, 2011 11:01 pm (UTC)
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Yay, you're still alive and being Redcoast.

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A Quirky Undead Chick

(no subject)

from: ardys_the_ghoul
date: Nov. 7th, 2011 11:21 am (UTC)
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I don't know what my vision is, but it's pretty bad--"pretty bad" meaning that my eyesight is actually worse than my 53-year-old father's eyesight.

I started having trouble with my contacts--I couldn't see clearly with them, and it was straining my eyes--so I went back to wearing glasses full-time. It's probably better that way, because I would forget to change them often enough and I'd keep wearing them for a month or more even if they were ripped. I don't have back-up glasses, but I guess in a pinch I could wear my old ones.

Hair combed over one eye can be pretty sexy, if also completely impractical, but hey, if it works it works.

Hope you're doing okay besides the eye thing. Honestly, I miss talking to you.

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Demi Hungerford

Stalking you on the internet 8)

from: Demi Hungerford
date: Nov. 7th, 2011 03:11 pm (UTC)
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Hey, on January 15th, 2009, you posted a witty story to explain the post that day at You Suck At Craigslist. Don't know if you ever went back, but you got 27 adores, and it's still the best response. I'm Windrose, and I select the comments to go in the box each day. I'm gonna put you in along with a more recent comment. Just thought you should know. Also, loved the blog! I will be back!

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Sex and a dog-eared paperback dictionary

Re: Stalking you on the internet 8)

from: redcoast
date: Nov. 8th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC)
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I soooo don't remember that. But I am rather fluish.

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(no subject)

from: fintinobrien
date: Nov. 7th, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
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just taking this opportunity to say that you tell the best stories

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